


Graveyard Whistling

by kyewopen



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Best Friends, M/M, Platonic Relationship, Song fic, This Is Sad, joshler - Freeform, kind of, mention of suicide, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 19:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyewopen/pseuds/kyewopen
Summary: Tyler is visiting Josh for his birthday





	Graveyard Whistling

_00:00_

 

_Take me out tonight where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive_

 

It's his birthday today. Usually, you would have called him just now cause you always wanted to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday. It was your thing and you could pretend to get mad if he told you somebody else thought about it before you did. It made him laugh all the time. And you loved making him laugh. You loved his laugh so much ,and the way he couldn't help but to squint his eyes whenever he was doing so. You loved everything about him. You loved him. God, you loved _him_ so much. So so much.

 

_Take me out tonight because I want to see people and I want to see life._

 

You're smiling now. It's been so long since you last smiled you forgot how good it felt. You're smiling cause it's his favorite song. You used to sing it together during these long hours of driving in this tour bus. You were singing it so loud everybody would get annoyed and telling you to shut up cause they were trying to sleep. And you were just laughing. You were laughing so hard. And in these moments, you remember thinking your life was so worth it. As long as he was next to you. As long as you were with him.

 

_Oh, please don't drop me home  
Because it's not my home, it's their home, _

_and I'm welcome no more_

  
  
You were so close to each other that some people were taking you for a couple. Your fans were part of them and you used to mess with them and act like you were together sometimes. Sometimes, you wish you had not give up on them so abruptly. You felt responsible for them and that's why you didn't tell anything at first. Cause you couldn't stand the pain. So how could they?

 

_To die by your side  
Is such a heavenly way to die_

  
  
You hate him sometimes. And god, he's probably the last person you want to hate, but you can't help it. How could he leave you like this? You were so happy. Or at least, you thought he was. You knew he had gone through hard times but he kept telling you music was his shelter. And you didn't see it coming. God, you were so far away from thinking he could give up like you tried before.

 

_To die by your side_

_Well the pleasure – the privilege is mine_

 

You're surrounded by darkness now and you see 5am with teary eyes and you wish you could sleep. You wish you could close your eyes and sleep eternally. Cause in these moments, your brain just shuts off. And you don't have to think. You don't want to think anymore. You don't want to think at all. You wish you could forget him sometimes. Cause there's only pain. Only pain. You wish you could forget. You wish you could forget all of this. But you can't. You just can't.

 So you cry. You cry, and you cry until you think you can't cry anymore. And then you cry some more.

 

'I miss you. God I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.' You say, sobbing.

 

The pain is unbearable. It's killing you. It's destroying you but you don't even care anymore. You only want to join him. And be happy, again.

 _Please, let me join him_ , you think while closing your eyes one more time.

But you can't sleep. You don't sleep no more. How could you?

 

_Take me out tonight._

_Take me anywhere, I don't care_

_I don't care, I don't care_

 

You can hear your phone ringing. It's her. It's always her. But you're not answering. You stopped answering a long time ago. Cause they just do not understand. They can't understand. They can't understand the pain. They can't. And they won't. Ever.

 And you get so mad at them sometimes. They say you have to hold on. They say you have to pull yourself together. They say you have to do it for him. But why can't they just understand that you're nothing without him? You're nothing. He left you in ruins that night. He left you.

 

_And in the darkened underpass_

_I thought oh God, my chance has come at last._

 

You're walking down this path. Since you couldn't sleep, you just figured out you could visit him. And you look around and the world seems so meaningless without him in it. Your world seems so meaningless without him in it.

You open this barrier and you walk with a heavy tread until you can see it. And then you place this bunch of flowers in front of you and you just sit.

 

_Josh Dun. 1988 – 2016._

_'Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.'_

 

'Hi Josh' You say with a broken voice. 'Happy Birthday.'

 

You're not really used to talk to him. Usually, you just sit in silence and think. You think about nothing and everything all at once. You always felt like it was a little bit weird, talking to graves. But now you get it. It makes the pain go away for a few minutes. Until you leave this graveyard and you're all alone and broken again.

 

''I'm sorry. I love you'. You say. 'That's the only thing you leave me. A note.' You add. 'A fucking note, Josh.'

 

You don't usually yell at him. But today is his birthday and the pain is worst than other times and you just can't help it.

 

'If you loved me, why did you leave me?' You add before bursting into tears. 'We could have been happy. We could have been so fucking happy.'

 

 _We could have been so happy_. You could have. God, you could have travelled the whole world. You could have written so many more songs and done so many more shows. You could have met so many more fans and released so many more albums. And you don't blame him. Of course you don't. You love him. But you just don't know how to take it anymore.

 

'What are you supposed to do when your best friend dies? How am I supposed to cope?'

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. 
> 
> (The song is There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths) (And the title is a song by Nothing But Thieves) (You should definitely check them out if you don't know them already)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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